Return-Path: Delivered-To: joy@transocean.com Received: from vps.transocean.com by vps.transocean.com with LMTP id CGF8H9La21rOQgAAInt2oQ for ; Sat, 21 Apr 2018 17:44:02 -0700 Return-path: Envelope-to: joy@transocean.com Delivery-date: Sat, 21 Apr 2018 17:44:02 -0700 Received: from mail-wr0-f196.google.com ([209.85.128.196]:40018) by vps.transocean.com with esmtps (TLSv1.2:ECDHE-RSA-AES128-GCM-SHA256:128) (Exim 4.89_1) (envelope-from ) id 1fA36m-0004QQ-Ge for joy@transocean.com; Sat, 21 Apr 2018 17:44:02 -0700 Received: by mail-wr0-f196.google.com with SMTP id v60-v6so31760236wrc.7 for ; Sat, 21 Apr 2018 17:43:40 -0700 (PDT) DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=gmail.com; s=20161025; h=mime-version:in-reply-to:references:from:date:message-id:subject:to; bh=2P+4IPRqd7GoFadEDvvFWqeMQ5r9kH7wnZI9r91lpnU=; b=D+ED2p/KYtj6FukGLYupf76jgLsmUod8jqH2bZojKZ8e3Lgk59kfz14bYURD3C34p+ me9Mm8dfXzNDxL3ecbfOoEB+gLQTny6d/ZjGcMqCLf5wKqXTtg4suiRiLBF2/K7KcZss zN1ojBs9Q3090/3Q4sxXWnOfBeDn38AfJW2ippM0tDbvlORy5zbUP3vczGriCtEpPfzm 68SL+J5Xsbg1YxDlT/FbNObHFEZbmQ1Qdo4djuQ43TmC0M1YQ/KfI5b8CZGOqXSDXWr+ OjXgabXfteNQ7shu3iGY0OFSrxGbVBTI6baCOuZMwuYwzBkoTtCp4JcwRh8JjtI91z3+ wR9w== X-Google-DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=1e100.net; s=20161025; h=x-gm-message-state:mime-version:in-reply-to:references:from:date :message-id:subject:to; bh=2P+4IPRqd7GoFadEDvvFWqeMQ5r9kH7wnZI9r91lpnU=; b=CBpxjzWG01V358fovKYFeXwq4q7Iq9L91oa6h9djwO2DY/afhN5TR2E9hZ5jpHifW6 Ym+AHi9UNj5nQFel6YsFJFe1xMGnG5NGK+H9lI+67TDvFMjad96mj/xyL5ycVNESWiT5 XsQN4vzNshwQaqchHvI94JF3HgJgN1fmU+7fw1iKsa2G7J2WAIy5GNa8fDmZtpMCQ2wV Vja0x+3NbLzkpS4JQZnEvL8rBqCAHRQZ+N2wngWsAXVoxs9vhfmZqejFqrzXkstrr4ki tSDORQGjKbrg1kAxM/OTl7NckUxIopz6RdcTbWN8NmSiGiP40xBUBmgjcpJbd21Z4hTA C2XA== X-Gm-Message-State: ALQs6tACmz12Vf/YQiTyoQA3iPXRmMUubL+kHipMGpvgYJ8PSXWTxLrA cIZbxI3u888WYsFGdNUz+Jbih4Ika1UpMtizCaM= X-Google-Smtp-Source: AIpwx4+b/7xJXZCBpeGaPd0K1xievwDBF9cQjIDadyjfRLRVKidPdPLu1LfAqm0gWqV/2gphrSy6lIXv7FHeM0+ndOo= X-Received: by 10.80.164.93 with SMTP id v29mr14831323edb.92.1524357798209; Sat, 21 Apr 2018 17:43:18 -0700 (PDT) MIME-Version: 1.0 Received: by 10.80.174.69 with HTTP; Sat, 21 Apr 2018 17:43:17 -0700 (PDT) In-Reply-To: <162e2c17f49-c8b-145f@webjas-vac076.srv.aolmail.net> References: <162e05901b4-c8c-103@webjas-vac041.srv.aolmail.net> <162e2c17f49-c8b-145f@webjas-vac076.srv.aolmail.net> From: Matilda Sposato Date: Sat, 21 Apr 2018 20:43:17 -0400 Message-ID: Subject: Fwd: HOW CHILDREN PERCEIVE THEIR GRANDPARENTS To: undisclosed-recipients:; Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="94eb2c19a09e12afb9056a6535d8" Bcc: joy@transocean.com X-Spam-Status: No, score=-95.8 X-Spam-Score: -957 X-Spam-Bar: --------------------------------------------------- X-Ham-Report: Spam detection software, running on the system "vps.transocean.com", has NOT identified this incoming email as spam. The original message has been attached to this so you can view it or label similar future email. If you have any questions, see root\@localhost for details. Content preview: --- *1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I'll probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye.* [...] Content analysis details: (-95.8 points, 3.0 required) pts rule name description ---- ---------------------- -------------------------------------------------- -100 USER_IN_WHITELIST From: address is in the user's white-list 1.5 SUBJ_ALL_CAPS Subject is all capitals 0.2 FREEMAIL_ENVFROM_END_DIGIT Envelope-from freemail username ends in digit (tillies10541[at]gmail.com) -0.0 RCVD_IN_MSPIKE_H2 RBL: Average reputation (+2) [209.85.128.196 listed in wl.mailspike.net] 0.0 FREEMAIL_FROM Sender email is commonly abused enduser mail provider (tillies10541[at]gmail.com) -0.0 SPF_PASS SPF: sender matches SPF record 0.8 BAYES_50 BODY: Bayes spam probability is 40 to 60% [score: 0.5000] 0.0 T_KAM_HTML_FONT_INVALID BODY: Test for Invalidly Named or Formatted Colors in HTML 0.0 HTML_MESSAGE BODY: HTML included in message 1.0 HTML_FONT_FACE_BAD BODY: HTML font face is not a word 0.1 DKIM_SIGNED Message has a DKIM or DK signature, not necessarily valid -0.1 DKIM_VALID_AU Message has a valid DKIM or DK signature from author's domain -0.1 DKIM_VALID Message has at least one valid DKIM or DK signature 0.8 CPANEL_LOTS_OF_EMPTY_LINE RAW: Spam that has large block of empty lines X-Spam-Flag: NO --94eb2c19a09e12afb9056a6535d8 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="UTF-8" --- *1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I'll probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye.* *2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me happy birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 80. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"* * 3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?" 4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!" 5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both real old," he replied. 6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read." 7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and she was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try figuring out some of this stuff for yourself!" 8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights." 9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised. "Mine says I'm 4 to 6."* *10.. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said, warily. "How do you make babies?" * * "It's easy," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."* * 11. "Give me a sentence about a public servant," instructed the teacher during a lesson. One small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child." 12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a dalmatian dog. * *The children started discussing the dog's duties.* * "They use him to keep crowds back," offered one child. "No," said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."* * 13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport." 14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him! 15. My Grandparents are funny. When they bend over, you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.* --94eb2c19a09e12afb9056a6535d8 Content-Type: text/html; charset="UTF-8" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable




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1.=C2=A0She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup under the watchful eyes of her = young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied= her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, = you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I'll probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissi= ng the toilet paper good-bye.

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me happy birthday. He asked= me how old I was, and I told him, 80. My grandson was quiet for a moment, = and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old sla= cks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the ch= ildren getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally,= she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.= As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling vo= ice,
"Who was THAT?"<= /b>

4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood = was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from= a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony We picked = wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I s= ure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

5. My grandson wa= s visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alik= e?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike= ?'' "You're both real old," he replied.

6. A little girl was diligently p= ounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was = writing a story.=C2=A0
"What's it about?" = he asked.=C2=A0
"I don't know," she= replied. "I can't read."

7. I didn't know if my grandd= aughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point= out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and she was al= ways correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I thin= k you should try figuring out some of this stuff for yourself!"=

8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the light= s off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a = few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, = "It's no use, Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

9. When my grandson asked me how = old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in= your underwear, Grandpa," he advised. "Mine says I'm 4 to 6.= "

10.. A second grader came home from school and said to her gran= dmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.&qu= ot; The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said, wari= ly. "How do you make babies?"=C2=A0
"It's easy," replie= d the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'e= s'."

11. "Give me a sentence about a public servant," instructed the teac= her during a lesson. One small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the l= adder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him "D= on't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure," said the young = boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."
12. A grandfather was delivering = his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitt= ing in the front seat of the fire truck was a dalmatian dog.=C2=A0
The children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds= back," offered one child.
"No," said another, &qu= ot;he's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argumen= t to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find= the fire hydrants."
13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, &= quot;she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Th= en, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport.&= quot;

14. Grandpa is the smartest man o= n earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough t= o get as smart as him!

15. My Grandparents are funny. When they bend over, you hear gas leaks, and th= ey blame their dog.


--94eb2c19a09e12afb9056a6535d8--