Return-Path: Delivered-To: diana@transocean.com Received: from vps.transocean.com by vps.transocean.com (Dovecot) with LMTP id sRFiCVwZu1goZQAAInt2oQ for ; Sat, 04 Mar 2017 11:45:32 -0800 Return-path: Envelope-to: diana@transocean.com Delivery-date: Sat, 04 Mar 2017 11:45:32 -0800 Received: from [107.167.15.171] (port=51419 helo=mail.homebautyss.com) by vps.transocean.com with esmtp (Exim 4.88) (envelope-from ) id 1ckFcK-0006jk-C4 for diana@transocean.com; Sat, 04 Mar 2017 11:45:32 -0800 DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha1; c=relaxed/relaxed; s=dkim; d=homebautyss.com; h=Date:From:To:Subject:MIME-Version:Content-Type:List-Unsubscribe:Message-ID; i=geneva-graham@homebautyss.com; bh=yDzbnn9qQpw8VQoZXOkqVXPs2zg=; b=HJBfYtwREX9vRgmEHN1blf4/jXQ5W1o4XpP9jXt6k6NPuKOuvkC1W1lQl4IlnpOFq1mGia0nTK8D J2eBGkHkbTHnxnGjcVOpPyCk98pTb51G/JR8rL+OI4x79q/2nvDPKJ9SJbMRYHoha4jc/yq+sZtY k+o3qHOKQJ01eZrShvM= DomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; c=nofws; q=dns; s=dkim; d=homebautyss.com; b=rsKbfWkbh9VNfOYJ3MAp9kJxYSjBpLtkx+S+z45beo7BfXInA3WpylVeUamTUzFdkVVPyNovR0no k58p2SxtF1AL3ZienoXcjE9rA7CbgF17dZo/BBpOzUPuUVG04ofqZel8wKxZ9nnsP9bUYd1gExyE PJPd81OfPft7IZzu0zs=; Received: by mail.homebautyss.com id hncrga0001gq for ; Sat, 4 Mar 2017 16:35:36 -0500 (envelope-from ) Date: Sat, 4 Mar 2017 16:35:36 -0500 From: "Geneva Graham" To: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_Part_19_1229089984.1488655720059" X-SMTPAPI: {"category": "20170304-142645-425-21"} List-Unsubscribe: Feedback-ID: 2017030414264542521 Message-ID: <0.0.0.2.1D2952F431DA872.1FB1F8E@mail.homebautyss.com> X-Spam-Status: Yes, score=4.2 X-Spam-Score: 42 X-Spam-Bar: ++++ X-Spam-Report: Spam detection software, running on the system "vps.transocean.com", has identified this incoming email as possible spam. The original message has been attached to this so you can view it or label similar future email. If you have any questions, see root\@localhost for details. Content preview: Untitled Document Home Update New Windwows: #50675645 [...] Content analysis details: (4.2 points, 3.0 required) pts rule name description ---- ---------------------- -------------------------------------------------- 0.0 URIBL_BLOCKED ADMINISTRATOR NOTICE: The query to URIBL was blocked. See http://wiki.apache.org/spamassassin/DnsBlocklists#dnsbl-block for more information. [URIs: homebautyss.com] -0.0 SPF_PASS SPF: sender matches SPF record 0.7 MIME_HTML_ONLY BODY: Message only has text/html MIME parts 0.8 MPART_ALT_DIFF BODY: HTML and text parts are different 0.0 HTML_MESSAGE BODY: HTML included in message 0.8 BAYES_50 BODY: Bayes spam probability is 40 to 60% [score: 0.5000] 0.0 HTML_FONT_LOW_CONTRAST BODY: HTML font color similar or identical to background 0.0 MIME_QP_LONG_LINE RAW: Quoted-printable line longer than 76 chars -0.1 DKIM_VALID_AU Message has a valid DKIM or DK signature from author's domain -0.1 DKIM_VALID Message has at least one valid DKIM or DK signature 0.1 DKIM_SIGNED Message has a DKIM or DK signature, not necessarily valid 2.0 RDNS_NONE Delivered to internal network by a host with no rDNS 0.0 MIME_HTML_ONLY_MULTI Multipart message only has text/html MIME parts 0.0 T_REMOTE_IMAGE Message contains an external image X-Spam-Flag: YES Subject: ****SPAM**** diana new anderson-window upgrade available 50675645 ------=_Part_19_1229089984.1488655720059 Content-Type: text/html; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable =20 =20 =20 Untitled Document=20 =20 =20
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Albums worldwide. Metallica is considered by many to be one of the greatest rock bands of all time. And because of this, in a rare intimate interview in 2003, a tearful Mustaine admitted that he couldnt help but still consider himself a failure. Despite all that he had accomplished, in his mind he would always be the guy who got kicked out of Metallica. Were apes. We think were all sophisticated with our toaster ovens and designer footwear, but were just a bunch of finely ornamented apes. And because we are apes, we instinctually measure ourselves against others and vie for status. The question is not whether we evaluate ourselves against others; rather, the question is by what standard do we measure ourselves Dave Mustaine, whether he realized it or not, chose to measure himself by whether he was more successful and popular than Metallica. The experience of getting thrown out of his former band was so painful for him that he adopted success relative to Metallica as the metric by which to measure himself and his music career. Despite taking a horrible event in his life and making something positive out of it, as Mustaine did with Megadeth, his choice to hold on to Metallicas success as his life-defining metric continued to hurt him decades later. Despite all the money and the fans and the accolades,=20
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// That his old band would forever regret their decision. He would become so famous that they would be subjected to decades of seeing him on TV, hearing him on the radio, seeing posters of him in the streets and pictures of him in magazines. Theyd be flipping burgers somewhere, loading vans from their shitty club gigs, fat and drunk with their ugly wives, and hed be rocking out in front of stadium crowds live on television. Hed bathe in the tears of his betrayers, each tear wiped dry by a crisp, clean hundred- bill. And so the guitarist worked as if possessed by a musical demon. He spent months recruiting the best musicians he could findfar better musicians than his previous bandmates. He wrote dozens of songs and practiced religiously. His seething anger fueled his ambition; revenge became his muse. Within a couple years, his new band had signed a record deal of their own, and a year after that, their first record would go gold. The guitarists name was Dave Mustaine, and the new band he formed was the legendary heavy-metal band Megadeth. Megadeth would go on to sell over 25 albums and tour the world many times over. Today, Mustaine is considered one of the most brilliant and influential musicians in the history of heavy-metal music. Unfortunately, the band he was kicked out of was Metallica, which has sold over 180 // = you have to change what you value and/or how you measure failure/success. As an example, lets look at another musician who got kicked out of another band. His story eerily echoes that of Dave Mustaine, although it happened two decades earlier. It was 1962 and there was a buzz around an up-and-coming band from Liverpool, England. This band had funny haircuts and an even funnier name, but their music was undeniably good, and the record industry was finally taking notice. There was John, the lead singer and songwriter; Paul, the ish-faced romantic bass player; George, the rebellious lead guitar player. And then there was the drummer. He was considered the best-looking of the bunchthe girls all went wild for him, and it was his face that began to appear in the magazines first. He was the most professional member of the group too. He didnt do drugs. He had a steady girlfriend. There were even a few people in suits and ties who thought he should be the face of the band, not John or Paul. His name was Pete Best. And in 1962, after landing their first record contract, the other three members of the Beatles quietly got together and asked their manager, Brian Epstein, // The third level is our personal values: Why do I consider this to be success/failure How am I choosing to measure myself By what standard am I judging myself and everyone around me This level, which takes constant questioning and effort, is incredibly difficult to reach. But its the most important, because our values determine the nature of our problems, and the nature of our problems determines the quality of our lives. Values underlie everything we are and do. If what we value is unhelpful, if what we consider success/failure is poorly chosen, then everything based upon those valuesthe thoughts, the emotions, the day-to-day feelingswill all be out of whack. Everything we think and feel about a situation ultimately comes back to how valuable we perceive it to be. Most people are horrible at answering these why questions accurately, and this prevents them from achieving a deeper knowledge of their own values. Sure, they may say they value honesty and a true friend, but then they turn around and lie about you behind your back to make themselves feel better. People may perceive that they feel lonely. But when they ask themselves why they feel lonely, they tend to come up with a way to blame otherseveryone else is mean, or no one is cool or smart enough to understand themand thus they further avoid their problem instead of seeking to solve it. For many people this passes as self-awareness. And yet, if they were able to go deeper and look at their underlying values, they would see that their original analysis was based on avoiding responsibility for their own problem, rather than accurately identifying the problem. They would see that their decisions were based on chasing highs, not generating true happiness. Most self-help gurus ignore this deeper level of self-awareness as well. They take people who are miserable because they want to be rich, and then give them all sorts of advice on how to make more money, all the while ignoring important values-based questions: Why do they feel such a need to be rich in the first place How are they choosing to measure success/failure for // = and thats fine. It is hard to accept at first, but thats fine. What is objectively true about your situation is not as important as how you come to see the situation, how you choose to measure it and value it. Problems may be inevitable, but the meaning of each problem is not. We get to control what our problems mean based on how we choose to think about them, the standard by which we choose to measure them. Rock Star Problems In 1983, a talented young guitarist was kicked out of his band in the worst possible way. The band had just been signed to a record deal, and they were about to record their first album. But a couple days before recording began, the band showed the guitarist the doorno warning, no discussion, no dramatic blowout; they literally woke him up one day by handing him a bus ticket home. As he sat on the bus back to Los Angeles from New York, the guitarist kept asking himself: How did this happen What did I do wrong What will I do now Record contracts didnt exactly fall out of the sky, especially for raucous, upstart metal bands. Had he missed his one and only shot But by the time the bus hit L.A., the guitarist had gotten over his self-pity and had vowed to start a new band. He decided that this new band would be so successful // themselves Is it not perhaps some particular value thats the root cause of their unhappiness, and not the fact that they dont drive a Bentley yet Much of the advice out there operates at a shallow level of simply trying to make people feel good in the short term, while the real long-term problems never get solved. Peoples perceptions and feelings may change, but the underlying values, and the metrics by which those values are assessed, stay the same. This is not real progress. This is just another way to achieve more highs. Honest self-questioning is difficult. It requires asking yourself simple questions that are uncomfortable to answer. In fact, in my experience, the more uncomfortable the answer, the more likely it is to be true. Take a moment and think of something thats really bugging you. Now ask yourself why it bugs you. Chances are the answer will involve a failure of some sort. Then take that failure and ask why it seems true to you. What if that failure wasnt really a failure What if youve been looking at it the wrong way A recent example from my own life: It bugs me that my brother doesnt return my texts or emails. Why Because it feels like he doesnt give a shit about me. Why does this seem true Because if he wanted to have a relationship with me, he would take ten seconds out of his day to interact with me.=20
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